| Episode begins at the "Tool Time" set.
Heidi is standing in the audience, wearing a Santa Claus hat and white
fur cuffed top and skirt. She is jingling bells. |
|---|
| | |
| Heidi: | Does everybody know what time it
is? |
| Audience: | "Tool Time!" |
| Heidi: | That's right. Binford Tools is proud
to present Tim "The Toolman" Taylor! Whoa! |
| [The "Tool Time" theme music plays. Tim and Al enter,
wearing high voltage suits] |
| Tim: | Thank you Heidi, and thank you
everyone. I am Tim "The Toolman" Taylor, and you all know my assistant
Al "Be Quarantined For Christmas" Borland. Today Al and I start our
week long salute [Tim and Al salute. There is a crackle and the lights
dim] to electricity. |
| Al: | That's right. [Tim and Al raise the
visors on their suits] And that's why we're weaing the flash suits worn
by professional electricians. You can take up to 20,000 Volts and not
get electrocuted. |
| Tim: | Yeah, but Al. [Tim turns to Al and
their visors crash together] But they look so-darn cool, don't they?
It's like the nineties way of saying, "Hey, I'm not gonna get
fried!" |
| [Music plays and Tim walks around the studio as if he
were on a catwalk] |
| Al: | Notice Tim's flame-resistant parker,
and color-coordinated insulated gloves. [Tim walks back towards Al] It
boasts a safety helmet with UV face shield and is tastefully
accessorized by this matching tote bag. [Tim holds up the bag and Al
points to it] You know, you might wanna wear these when you put up your
Christmas light this weekend. [Tim raises his visor. Al laughs to
himself and snorts. Tim looks at Al] |
| Tim: | Actually I'm way ahead of you. With
this outfit I can safely replace my measly 7 Watt bulbs with these 500
Watt bad boys right here, huh? [Tim and Al walk over to the tree behind
them] |
| Al: | You could light up an airport runway
with that much Wattage on your roof! |
| Tim: | Well, maybe it's time for old St. Nick
to trade in that old sleigh for a new Boeing 777 fly-by-wire. |
| Al: | Well Tim, where're you going to get
enough juice to run something like this? |
| Tim: | Can you believe he asks the "Toolman"
that? Heidi! My generator please! |
| [Heidi wheels in a large generator] |
| Heidi: | Here you go, Tim. |
| Tim: | [Grunting]Oh-oh-OH-oh! [Tim starts the
generator and picks up the lights cable] Do you wanna plug it in for me
Al? |
| Al: | [Al looks at Tim] I don't think so,
Tim! |
| Tim: | O.K. then, I'll do it [Tim lowers his
visor and plugs in the cable. Tim and Al turn to the tree] Alright
Heidi, hit the switch! [The lights turn on and they are VERY bright.
There is an electrical hum. Tim and Al turn away from the glare,
temporarily blinded] |
| Al: | Alright Tim, that's enough. Tim? [Tim
and Al stagger around] Turn it off. |
| Tim: | Oh, Heidi. Turn it off. Turn it off.
[The lights turn off] Ohhh. [Tim raises his visor and turns to a
stuffed reindeer. To the reindeer] Well, that was a lot brighter than I
thought it was going to be, Al. |
| Al: | [To a plastic snowman] Yes it was,
Tim. |
| | |
| [Opening credits] |
|---|
| | |
| Cut to the backyard. |
|---|
| [The backyard is full of decorations for the roof.
Tim enters carrying a large silver spiky thing (presumably the star),
followed by Mark and Randy who are carrying other Christmas
decorations] |
| | |
| Tim: | Alright, great news guys. This year
you're gonna help me beat Doc Johnson in the lighting
contest. |
| Mark: | Aww. |
| Randy: | Cool. |
| [They put the decorations down] |
| Mark: | I can't believe you're gonna let us
help this year. |
| Tim: | Well, you've earned it. You're a year
older, more mature, more responsible. |
| Randy: | And since you're going out of town,
you have no choice. |
| Tim: | Hey, hey, hey. What have I always
taught you? What Christmas is all about? |
| Randy: | Beating the pants off an eighty-year
old proctologist in a lighting contest. |
| Tim: | That's the spirit. |
| Mark: | Do we get to put up the
manger? |
| Tim: | No. I'll put up the manger when I get
home. That's my speciality. |
| Randy: | Last year your speciality fell
through the roof. |
| Tim: | I've got all the quirks worked out
this time, alright? I've got that generator, string of lights from
work. They're all set up there. Now, any more electrical work needs to
be done, I want Brad to do it. [Tim walks towards the door] |
| Mark: | How come he gets to do it? |
| Tim: | Cuz he's the oldest. [Brad enters,
wearing one of the flash suits] |
| Brad: | And I'm the only one that can fit
into Dad's suit. |
| [Jill enters] |
| Jill: | Aren't you supposed to be getting
ready to go to the airport? |
| | |
| Cut to the living room. |
|---|
| [Tim and Jill enter] |
| | |
| Tim: | I am ready. I'm just waiting for
Al. |
| Jill: | I just don't understand why you have
to go away the day before Christmas. |
| Tim: | We've been through this before.
Binford is the proud sponsor of this year's Winter fair in Kinross [Tim
shuts the back door] and Al and I are playing very important roles.
[Jill goes over to the kitchen] |
| Jill: | Tim! You are a grand marshal of an
elf parade! [Jill makes herself a drink] |
| Tim: | Even little green people need a
leader, honey. |
| Jill: | Well I don't know how you can leave
me for a bunch of elves. |
| Tim: | Well, I'll be home before dinner. I'm
not going to the Pointy-Shoe banquet. [Jill shakes her head. The
doorbell rings. Tim opens the door and picks up his suit. Al and Ilene
enter] Ilene, hi Al. |
| Al & Ilene: | Hi, hello. Merry Christmas! |
| Jill: | Hi Ilene. [Tim, Al and Ilene walk
towards Jill in the kitchen] |
| Ilene: | Hi Jill. I've brought all the
ingredients to make my famous pfeffernuesse cookies. |
| Al: | Wait till you get your hands on Ilene's
pfeffernuesse! [Ilene puts the bags she's carrying on the counter] |
| Tim: | Oh I'd love to, but I'm a one
pfeffernuesse guy. [A beeper goes off] |
| Al: | Oh, that's my beeper. I wonder who that
is. |
| Tim, Jill & Ilene: | Your mother! |
| Al: | Can I use your phone? |
| Jill: | Yeah, sure. [Al goes off to use the
phone] |
| Ilene: | That's the fourth time she's beeped
him this morning. |
| Jill: | I can imagine Al's mother would put
stress on any relationship. |
| Tim: | Al's mother could put stress on a 20
ton steel beam! |
| Ilene: | I'm so glad she's visiting his
brother for the hoildays. We are finally gonna be alone on New Year's
Eve. Al booked us a romantic weekend at the hotel Trentwood. |
| Jill: | Ahhh! |
| Al: | [On the phone] You're coming back
early?... Wu... New Year's Eve?... No, Ilene and I aren't doing
anything special, [Ilene looks at Al in disbelief] no, we'd love to
have you. O.K. Great. [Al puts down the phone] |
| Ilene: | Al, I can't believe you. [Ilene goes
over to Al] |
| Al: | What? |
| Ilene: | I thought we were gonna be alone for
a change. Once again your mother has to wedge herself between
us. |
| Tim: | That's a hell of a big
wedge! |
| Jill: | Tim! Um, help me fix the fire and
we'll let them work this out. |
| Tim: | Al, we're in a hurry. |
| Jill: | Shh. Shh. [Jill pushes Tim towards
the fire] |
| Al: | Y'know Ilene, I, I resent your attitude
towards my mother. She's a wonderful giving woman who lights up all the
lives she touches. |
| Ilene: | Oh please. I am so sick of you
putting your mother up on a pedestal. |
| Jill: | You've got to admire him for having
the strength to hoist her up there! [Tim looks at Jill] Oh my God! I'm
turning into you! |
| Tim: | Kind of fun, isn't it? |
| | |
| Cut to the airplane, later that
day. |
|---|
| [Tim and Al are in their seats] |
| | |
| Al: | Y'know, and that's another reason why
Ilene shouldn't be upset mother joining us for New Year's. Y'know after
a couple of Rob Roy's, mother can be quite the party animal. [Tim is
banging his head against the window. The flight attendant comes over to
them] |
| Flight Attendant: | There are your drinks.
[She gives them their drinks] One ginger ale, one Martini, double
olives on the side. |
| Tim: | Thanks very much. |
| Flight Attendant: | Hm-hmm. |
| Tim: | Thank you. [The flight attendant goes
on to the next passengers] |
| Al: | Oh, I suppose mother can be needy, but
how can I turn my back on the woman who, who, who nurtured me from the
womb? [Tim takes the olives and sticks one in each ear!] I'm just
thankful that I, that I have a friend like you that will lead me a
supportive ear. [Al turns to Tim and sees the olives] That has a green
olive in it. |
| Tim: | It's just because the barf bag wasn't
big enough to fit over my head. |
| |
|
| Al: | I just, I don't know why
Ilene is acting like this. |
| Tim: | [Pleading] Oh God, maybe the plane
will crash. |
| Al: | Y'know, I have a good mind not to give
Ilene her Christmas present. [Tim takes the olives out of his ears. He
considers eating them but decides against it] And I had a necklace made
especially for her out of coins that she collected when she went to
Stockholm for the gingivitis symposium. |
| Tim: | You gave her spare change from a
bloody gum convention? |
| Al: | Yes. And I'm sure it was a much more
thoughtful gift than what you got for Jill. If you got her
anything. |
| Tim: | You couldn't be further from the
truth. Why d'you think I volunteered to lead an elf parade in
Kinross? |
| Al: | Same reason as me: the
prestige! |
| Tim: | No! Her gift is up there. Kinross has
one of the best speciality bookstores in the state of Michigan. I
ordered a book, it didn't come in time to deliver by Christmas, so I've
gotta go and get it. |
| Al: | What did you order? |
| Tim: | A first edition. Freud's essays. She's
gonna love this. It'll be a Christmas she never forgets. |
| Pilot: | [Over the intercom] Attention
passengers. The Kinross airport has been closed due to heavy storm
activity. |
| Passengers: | Aw, man. |
| Pilot: | [Over the intercom] This flight will
have to be diverted to Alpena. |
| Passengers: | Aw. |
| | |
| Cut to Alpena airport. |
|---|
| [The passengers enter the lounge. Tim and Al enter
after walking past the entrance] |
| | |
| Tim: | [To the clerk] Excuse me, could you
tell us where the main terminal is? |
| The Clerk: | [The clerk looks up from his
magazine] Take two giants steps forward. |
| [Tim and Al take two steps forward and arrive at the
desk. The clerks spreads his arms, "here." The sign on the desk reads
"Ticket Counter"] |
| Al: | Is there still a chance we can make it
to Kinross? |
| The Clerk: | I don't see how. There'll be no
more flights in or out until the storm's over. |
| Al: | But this is an emergency! |
| The Clerk: | Ah, the hospital has a special
helicopter. What's the emergency? [The clerk starts dialing] |
| Al: | We're leading an elf parade. [The clerk
puts the phone down] |
| The Clerk: | Try me again when you're
donating a kidney. |
| Tim: | We really have to get there. Is there,
er, a car rental counter here? |
| The Clerk: | Of course. [He takes the sign
off the desk and replaces it with a sign which reads "Car Rental"] Now,
what kind of car would you like? We're running a special on
convertibles. |
| Tim: | It's 4 degrees outside. |
| The Clerk: | Then I'd advise you to leave the
top up. |
| Al: | Er, could you give us a map so we could
find our way to Kinross? |
| The Clerk: | No problem. [He gets a map] Er,
I don't think the map is going to do you much good. |
| Al: | Why not? |
| The Clerk: | The roads are closed. |
| Tim: | Huh, well, why are we renting a car if
we can't drive it anywhere? |
| The Clerk: | I was wondering the same thing
myself. |
| [Tim and Al walk away from the counter] |
| Tim: | This is just great. Stuck in the
airport and Jill's gift is in Kinross. [To the clerk] Is there any
place I can, er, look for a book here? |
| The Clerk: | We have some books in our gift
shop. |
| Tim: | And the gift shop would be? |
| [The clerk turns the sign on his desk round so that
it reads "Gift Shop." Tim and Al walk back to the desk] |
| Tim: | O.K., uh, can I see some of your
books? |
| The Clerk: | Sorry, we're closed for the
holidays. [He flips the sign over so it reads "Closed." Tim looks at
the clerk] |
| | |
| [Commercial break] |
|---|
| | |
| Cut to the airport, a little
later. |
|---|
| [Tim is on the phone to Jill] |
| | |
| Tim: | There's no way we're gonna make it to
the elf parade. So we'll try to get a plane back to Detroit as soon as
the storm clears here. |
| Cut to the kitchen and Jill on the
phone. |
|---|
| Jill: | I knew this was going to happen.
You're gonna miss Christmas Eve. |
| Cut to Tim. |
|---|
| Tim: | I have never missed a Christmas Eve
with you and tonight's not going to be the night. No matter what it
takes, I'm getting home. |
| Cut to Jill. |
|---|
| Jill: | Well I hope so cuz the boys are gonna
be really disappointed when I tell them. Wait, hold on a second. [Brad,
Randy and Mark enter from the backyard] Guys, it's your father. He's
stranded in the middle of nowhere. He may not make it back
tonight. |
| Brad, Randy & Mark: | Alright! Cool! Yeah!
[They head towards the door] |
| Jill: | Wait a second! You don't want to see
your father on Christmas Eve? |
| Brad: | It's not that. We just want to do the
lighting contest by ourselves. |
| [Jill returns to the phone] |
| Tim: | [From the phone] What's going
on? |
| Jill: | The boys are crushed. I'm trying to
comfort them. |
| Cut to Tim. |
|---|
| Tim: | Er, put Randy on the phone. [Al comes
over to Tim] |
| Al: | Tim, I, I need to talk to
Ilene. |
| Tim: | [To Al] Hold your horses. I've got to
tell Randy how to put the runway lights on the manger. |
| Al: | This is more important! |
| Tim: | [Tim makes a face at Al] Put Ilene on
the phone, please. [Tim hands the phone to Al] |
| Al: | Sugar pumpkin? |
| Cut to Randy. |
|---|
| Randy: | No, sweet pea. I'll get sugar
pumpkin! [Randy hands the phone to Ilene] |
| Ilene: | Al? |
| Cut to Al. |
|---|
| Al: | Ilene, I, I think I have a solution for
New Year's Eve that's gonna make everybody happy. |
| Ilene: | [From the phone] You do? |
| Al: | Yes. Mother rings in New Year's with
us, but then we put her in a cab and we have the whole weekend to
ourselves. |
| Cut to Ilene. |
|---|
| Ilene: | Al, you are missing the whole point.
You are 37-years old. Don't you think it's time to cut the
cord? |
| Cut to Al. |
|---|
| Al: | Cut the cord? [Tim comes over to
him] |
| Tim: | Cut the cord? Don't cut the cord! It's
the only extension cord I have that'll handle those lights! |
| Al: | [To Tim] This is not about your stupid
lights! My relationship with Ilene is hanging in the balance! |
| Tim: | So the extension cord's O.K? [Al looks
at Tim] |
| Cut to Ilene. |
|---|
| Ilene: | Al, you are gonna have to make a
choice. It is either me or your mother. [Ilene hangs up] |
| Cut to Al. |
|---|
| Al: | I-Ilene hung up. |
| [Tim goes over to the clerk. The sign on the desk
reads "Ticket Counter"] |
| Tim: | There's got to be someway out of here,
something else. How about a, er, um, snow-mobile? |
| The Clerk: | That would work. |
| Tim: | O.K. |
| The Clerk: | If we had one. |
| Tim: | How about a dog sled? |
| The Clerk: | I've got a dog, and my grandson
has a sled. |
| Tim: | Perfect. |
| The Clerk: | Of course, my dog's a poodle.
[The clerk indicates the size with his hands. Tim looks at the
clerk] |
| | |
| Cut to the airport, a little
later. |
|---|
| [Tim and Al are at the desk. The clerk is on the
phone. The sign on the desk reads "Tourist Information"] |
| | |
| The Clerk: | Good. Thank you. [The clerk puts
down the phone] Alright, I've got some good news. The storm has let up
in Kinross. |
| Tim: | Alright. |
| Al: | Great. |
| The Clerk: | Unfortunately, it's getting
worse here. In fact, it might not let up for a couple of
days. |
| Tim: | We'll have to sleep here in the
airport? |
| The Clerk: | There are some hotels in
town. |
| Al: | Well, we'd better hurry up and book
one. |
| Tim: | Alright. |
| The Clerk: | Ah, sorry. They were booked up
hours ago. But I do rent out a lovely room in my house. |
| Tim: | O.K. I'll buy it. How much? |
| The Clerk: | It's going for $45 a
night. |
| Tim: | O.K. |
| The Clerk: | Except in storm season. Then
it's 200. |
| Tim: | Y'know pal, I'm, I'm gonna alert the
Better Business Bureau about you. |
| The Clerk: | Go ahead. |
| Tim: | Hu, huh. [Tim looks at the sign, then
the clerk, and then the sign again. Tim turns the sign around. It reads
"Better Business Bureau"] |
| The Clerk: | Can I help you? |
| [Tim holds up his hand. Al walks off] |
| Al: | This is the worst Christmas of my life.
I'm stuck in this dinky airport, my relationship is collapsing, and
I've cleaned out every cheese puff in this stupid vending machine. [Al
hits the machine. Tim comes over to him] |
| Tim: | And we have no place to sleep. [Tim
turns to the cleaning lady] Hey ma'am, ma'am, you live around here. Can
my friend and I, er, sleep at your house? We'll pay you
money. |
| Old Lady: | Perverts! |
| The Clerk: | [To the Old Lady] See you at
home, Mom. |
| [Tim and Al look at the clerk] |
| | |
| Cut to the backyard. |
|---|
| [The boys are putting up the decorations. Jill comes
outside. The boys winch a clown up to the roof] |
| | |
| Jill: | Why are you putting that up
there? |
| Randy: | We had a little wise man
accident. |
| Mark: | Yeah. Now we have, er, two wise men
and a clown. |
| Jill: | So now the three wise men come
bearing gold, frankincense and a seltzer bottle. |
| [Brad climbs down a ladder from the roof] |
| Brad: | Alright. He's all tied up. Bozo's on
the roof. |
| Jill: | Guys, why don't you take a break.
Ilene's got some cookies for you. If they taste salty, don't say
anything about it; she's been crying into the batter. [The boys look at
Jill] |
| Randy: | I think I'll just have some
milk. |
| [The boys go inside. Wilson enters his yard, carrying
a box full of cardboard tubes] |
| Wilson: | Well hidy-ho ho ho, neighborette.
And a merry Christmas. |
| Jill: | It may be on your side of the fence.
I've got boys crawling all over the roof, Tim stuck in Alpena, and a
depressed orthodontist crying into her pfeffernuesse. [Ilene is sitting
on the couch, holding a plate of cookies and crying] |
| Wilson: | Oh, Tim is stuck in Alpena, hm?
That is such a lovely town. Y'know I have a very good friend who works
up there. He's a clerk at the airport. |
| Jill: | I'm so disappointed. I was really
hoping to give Tim his present tonight. I got him something really
special. |
| Wilson: | Well, I assume it has something to
do with a car or a tool. |
| Jill: | Oh yeah, both. I got him a set of
tools for the car, and this thing called a power invertor. |
| Wilson: | Ahh. |
| Jill: | It allows you to plug your tools
right into the car lighter. This way, if he gets stuck in traffic,
instead of swearing, he can build something. |
| Wilson: | [Wilson chuckles] Well, that sounds
like the perfect gift for Tim. |
| Jill: | So, are you and Judith spending the
holidays together? |
| Wilson: | Ohh, yes indeedy. This is the first
Christmas that we've spent together, and I am so looking forward to
giving her the sweater that I knitted for her. |
| Jill: | You knitted her a sweater? |
| Wilson: | Hm-hmm. Right after I sheared the
sheep and spun the wool. |
| Jill: | Wow! |
| Wilson: | Then later on I'm gonna fix her
dinner. |
| Jill: | What're you making? |
| Wilson: | Lamb chops! |
| | |
| Cut to the sirport. |
|---|
| [Tim and Al are sitting on the seats. The clerk is on
the phone] |
| | |
| The Clerk: | O.K., thanks. [The clerk puts
down the phone] I've got some good news for you. In the spirit of
Christmas Eve, I've decided to slash the price of my room back to
$45. |
| Tim: | In other words, the storm is letting
up. |
| The Clerk: | Yes. Yes it is. You should be
able to get a flight in about fifteen minutes. |
| Al: | [Sighs in relief] Finally. [Tim and Al
stand up] |
| The Clerk: | Would you gentlemen care for
some flight insurance? |
| Tim & Al: | No! |
| Tim: | Well, looks like we're gonna make it
home in time for Christmas, Al. |
| Al: | The only problem is I still don't know
what to do about Ilene and my mother. How can I choose between the
woman who means more to me than anything, and my girlfriend? |
| [Tim looks away, exasperated] |
| | |
| Cut to the airplane. |
|---|
| | |
| Al: | On the other hand, she is my mother.
But on the other hand, Ilene could be the mother of my children. On the
other hand -- |
| Tim: | -- Al. That's eight hands. Why don't
you take one of them and slap yourself. [Al's beeper goes
off] |
| Attractive Woman: | [In the aisle opposite
Al] Excuse me. Are you by any chance a doctor? |
| Tim: | No, he's a mama's boy! [Al looks at
Tim] O.K. Let me ask you a question. Have you ever thought about having
kids? |
| Al: | Of course. |
| Tim: | Well that's not gonna happen with your
mother! |
| Al: | Ah, Tim, you just, you don't
understand. |
| Tim: | Well just try me, will you? |
| Al: | I made a promise before my dad died
that I, that I would take care of my mother. And I, I just, I, I can't
turn my back on her. |
| Tim: | Wait a minute, no-one's asking you to
do that. I think Ilene just wants to feel that she won't take a
backseat to your mother. I mean is she or is she not the most important
woman in your life? |
| Al: | She's the most important woman under
50. |
| Tim: | You've got to do better than that,
Al. |
| Al: | I don't know if I can. |
| Tim: | You- when you made that promise to
your dad, don't you think he would have wanted you to fall in love with
a woman and have a family? [Al thinks about this] |
| Al: | You're right. |
| Tim: | I know I'm right. If your dad were
here right now, what would he be saying to you? |
| Al: | "Al, stay with your mother. I'm going
to the track." I see your point, y'know. I think I have to set some
limits with my mother. |
| Tim: | Yes. |
| Al: | And I'm gonna start by getting rid of
the stupid beeper. |
| Tim: | Alright. [Al gives the beeper to
Tim] |
| Pilot: | [Over the intercom] Ladies and
gentlemen, we're approaching the Detroit metropolitan area and
unfortunately visibility is so low that we are unable to
land. |
| Passengers: | Ohhh! Ahhh! |
| Pilot: | [Over the intercom] It looks like we
may be diverted to Toledo. |
| Tim: | This is unbelievable. This is
unbelievable. I won't make it home for the first time at Christmas. I
have no gift for Jill. And I won't see the boys light up the Christmas
lights. |
| Al: | Come on, have some faith, Tim. There's
still some time. |
| Tim: | It's hopeless. [Al looks out the
window. Tim looks at his watch] The kids'll be lighting them up now
anyway. |
| [A very bright light illuminates the plane. Tim looks
out the window] |
| Pilot: | [Over the intercom] Wait a minute. A
tremendous beam of light has just broken through the clouds. |
| Tim: | [Pointing out the window] Ha, that's
my house! Those are our lights! |
| Pilot: | [Over the intercom] I've just heard
from the tower that we now have visibility and well be able to land in
Detroit. |
| Passengers: | Yeah! |
| Tim: | He lands there, he's gonna land right
on the manger. Wait a minute. What's a clown doing next to baby
Jesus? |
| | |
| Cut to the living room, that
evening. |
|---|
| [The boys are sitting round the table. There is a
trophy on the table] |
| | |
| Mark: | Can't believe we won the lighting
contest. |
| Brad: | And helped land a plane! |
| Randy: | Well, this just proves one thing
guys: Dad's been holding us back all these years. |
| [Al and Ilene are together on the couch] |
| Ilene: | Oh Al, I'm so glad we're back
together again. |
| Al: | Me too. And y'know, it was the easiest
decision of my life. [Al and Ilene kiss] |
| [Tim is opening his present from Jill] |
| Tim: | It's a power invertor. |
| Jill: | Yeah. |
| Tim: | And all these tools for the car, I
love this. Thanks. [Tim and Jill kiss] |
| Jill: | O.K. My turn. |
| Tim: | Alright. You're gonna love
it. |
| Jill: | Just undo this. Alright. [Jill opens
the present] It's a beeper! |
| Tim: | Well, I figured, y'know, if anytime I
want to tell you "I love you," I can just do it 24 hours a day now.
[The beeper beeps] |
| Jill: | Well, gee Tim. I would love to tell
you how touched I am but I have to call Al's mother. |
| | |
| CREDITS |
|---|
| | |
| [Outtake from an airport scene. Tim and Al
are standing at the desk] |
|---|
| | |
| Tim: | We'll have to sleep here at the
airport? |
| The Clerk: | 'Fraid not. [He points to a sign
on the wall. It reads "No Loitering"] |
| | |
| [Beep] |
|---|
| | |
| [Outtake from the airplane. Someone walks past the window. On the outside] |
|---|
| | |
| Tim: | Hold a second. We can't have people
walking around outside the aircraft. |
| Al: | Are we gonna drive to
Detroit? |
| Tim: | Pilot, there's people outside the
airplane. You're way too low. |
| | |
| [Beep] |
|---|
| | |
| [Outtake from the airport] |
|---|
| | |
| The Clerk: | You should be able to get a
flight in about fifteen minutes. |
| Al: | [Sighs in relief] Finally. [Tim and Al
stand up] |
| The Clerk: | Would you gentlemen care for
some flight insurance? |
| Tim & Al: | No! |
| The Clerk: | O.K., but if your plane crashes,
you'll be sorry! |
| [Tim and Al look at the clerk and then each
other] |
| | |
| THE END |
|---|
